Counseling therapy is in high demand. Although we all want to feel more acceptance, closeness, and connection in our relationships, many of us face conflict and tension with our partner.
We offer skilled couples therapy utilizing Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), a proven therapy method based on adult attachment and extensive research. After therapy, most couples find renewed hope and increased connection and passion in their relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples recognizes that in our relationships, we are doing the best we can to feel close to each other, even in the midst of conflict and disconnection. Unfortunately, the strategies we use often cause more distance, conflict, and distress. We often do not know what we or our partner is feeling or how we can be there for each other. Many of us need help learning and experiencing how to be more accessible, responsive, engaged to improve our connection and communication with one another.
How does EFT for couples work?
EFT or Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples is a well-validated, structured approach that is designed to help couples understand each other’s emotions and respond effectively to each other’s needs. It is a collaborative model based on adult attachment theory and is widely heralded as one of the most successful approaches to creating loving relationships and lasting bonds.
In EFT, couples learn to identify their negative communication cycle, how to be with feelings together, reach towards each other, and be responsive in more loving and positive ways. When couples can clearly communicate and respond to attachment needs, it can create the safety, trust and support that couples long for.
Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples is based on the following assumptions:
There is an inherent, universal need in all humans for a safe haven relationship where a loved one is experienced as accessible, responsive, and emotionally engaged.
A relationship is a series of powerful emotional feedback loops where each person shapes the other’s responses. One person cannot solely be “the problem”.
Feelings are often hidden, unexpressed, misinterpreted, or misunderstood.
All relationship responses are understandable and reasonable. Partners are not viewed as deficient or damaged - but instead viewed as struggling to find the best way they know how to manage painful feelings of disconnection and vulnerability.
Relational responses (such as acting out or withdrawing) are strategies to manage emotional distress and often work to some degree, in certain contexts. If couples are to understand their own and their partner’s responses, there is need for acknowledging the validity of these strategies and the emotions driving them.
Our therapists are trained in EFT and offer couples therapy, “Date Night: Conversations for Connection” Workshops and full weekend “Hold me Tight” Couples Retreats.