When One Partner Is Unsure Whether to Stay or Leave
Not every couple seeking help is ready for couples therapy.
Sometimes one partner wants to save the relationship while the other is questioning whether the marriage can—or should—continue. Conversations become repetitive, emotions run high, and both partners feel stuck.
If you are considering separation or divorce but are not completely certain it is the right path, Discernment Counseling can help.
Discernment Counseling is a specialized, short-term process designed to help couples gain clarity and confidence about the future of their relationship before making major decisions.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment Counseling was developed specifically for couples where one partner is "leaning out" of the relationship and considering separation or divorce, while the other partner is "leaning in" and hoping to repair the marriage.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, the goal is not to improve the relationship or solve marital problems.
The goal is to determine whether the relationship problems are solvable and whether both partners are willing to work toward rebuilding the marriage.
Discernment Counseling helps couples slow down, step out of crisis mode, and make thoughtful decisions about the future rather than reacting from hurt, anger, fear, or hopelessness.
Three Possible Paths Forward
Through the discernment process, couples typically gain clarity about one of three paths:
1. Restore the Relationship
Both partners decide to commit to a period of focused couples therapy with the goal of rebuilding the relationship.
2. Move Toward Separation or Divorce
The couple concludes that ending the relationship is the best path forward and can begin that process with greater clarity and understanding.
3. Pause and Decide Later
The couple decides they need additional time before making a final decision.
The goal is not to pressure either partner toward a particular outcome. The goal is clarity.
Our Approach
You will attend sessions together, but much of the work occurs through individual conversations with the certified discernment counselor in Maine.
Why?
Because partners often arrive with very different experiences, concerns, and goals.
Your counselor will help each of you:
Better understand your relationship's strengths and challenges
Explore how you arrived at this point
Examine your own contributions to relationship patterns
Clarify what you hope for moving forward
Consider whether meaningful change is possible
Discernment Counseling is a compassionate, non-judgmental process. There are no villains, no blame, and no pressure to save or end the marriage.
Both partners are treated with equal respect regardless of where they currently stand.
Who Is Discernment Counseling For?
Discernment Counseling may be a good fit if:
One partner is considering divorce or separation
One partner wants to work on the relationship and the other is unsure
Previous couples therapy has not been successful
You feel stuck and unable to make a decision
You want greater confidence and clarity before making a life-changing choice
Who Is Discernment Counseling Not For?
Discernment Counseling is generally not appropriate when:
One spouse has already made a final decision to divorce
One partner is being pressured or coerced into participating
There is ongoing domestic violence or fear of violence
There is active substance abuse that prevents meaningful participation
What Are the Benefits?
Many couples report that Discernment Counseling helps them:
Reduce confusion and uncertainty
Gain a deeper understanding of their relationship
Communicate more productively about difficult decisions
Feel more confident about the path they choose
Avoid making major decisions in the middle of a crisis
Even when couples ultimately separate, the process often helps them move forward with greater understanding, less blame, and more clarity.
Sessions and Fees
Discernment Counseling is designed to be brief and focused.
Initial Assessment (2 Hours): $500
Follow-Up Sessions (90 Minutes): $350 per session
Most couples complete the process within one to five sessions.
Take the First Step Toward Clarity
Few decisions carry more emotional weight than deciding whether to stay in a marriage or end it.
You do not have to navigate that uncertainty alone.
If you and your partner are struggling to determine the future of your relationship, Discernment Counseling can help you gain the clarity and confidence needed to move forward.
Contact Psychology Specialists of Maine today to learn more about Discernment Counseling.